Ah, love. When it’s a new love, it’s exciting. The world as you see it is romantic, exhilarating, and with nothing but blues skies as far as the eye can see. But after the honeymoon phase has ended (and it always does), you’ve endured some disagreements and you’ve seen your partner for who he/she really is—rather than your ideal perception of them—real love can begin. So why does it feel so complicated? Stop complaining when he leaves the toilet seat up, and instead, love the one you’re with (for good and bad.) Here’s how to do just that.
Learn to Embrace the Ebb and Flows
Do you remember the moment in your relationship when it transitioned from romance, flowers and candlelit dinners to eating in front of the TV and complaints of “How come you don’t buy me flowers anymore?” In a committed relationship? Then you’ve agreed to take him/her and all the baggage that comes along with it. The key is this: with your partner, and with the relationship as a whole, nothing can exist without the ebb and flow.
How to Change With Change
Nothing can exist without change, especially your relationship with the one you love. One week, you may experience a few nights of passion, great communication and verbal intimacy, while the next week is full of misunderstandings, and a ‘disconnect.’ What gives, and when did love get so complicated?
The truth is, like a tidal wave that comes up on the shore (and then pulls back and merges once again with the ocean), a relationship goes in cycles. One week you feel closer than ever, and the next week you or your partner emotionally pull back. The cycle exists because of trust, feeling venerable and the process of becoming truly intimate.
Go with the ebb and flow by letting it come and go as it may. As you flow in the direction that your relationship may go, you’ll find that true love—love that is accepting of whatever shape it takes in the present and in the future—will give you the unconditional affection and devotion you need.
The More You Give, The More Love You’ll Get
Does it feel like the love of your life isn’t giving you the attention or affection he/she used to? Then it may be time to take a look in the mirror. That’s because if you aren’t in love with yourself, how do you expect your partner to be? Want more love? Here’s how to do it: love yourself as much as you want to be loved by someone else. Simple in philosophy but not always as easy in theory, self-love is an everyday practice. It doesn’t simply ‘arrive’ when you become thin, rich, or win the lottery.
Self-love is about loving your body, your character, and even your flaws in the present moment. Why? Because they make you, uniquely you. And, it’s what your partner loves about you, too. The more you can love yourself, the more loveable you become to another.
Now I’d love to hear from you. How do you navigate through the relationship matrix? Do you use any of the skills above and if so, how are they working out for you? Last, brag on your loved one and tell us what you love about them. Leave a comment sharing your experiences below.
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